Parenthood – Manhood Ritual – Responsibility – Motherhood & Fatherhood
Parenthood - The Phoenix must die first so it can rise again from the ashes!
The initiation into parenthood (motherhood & fatherhood): The phoenix must first die in order to be able to rise again from the ashes. This is how we grow into our new role as father or mother. The old must die so that one can take on the new responsibility, reborn. Wive and husband must each face their own death and impermanence so that the body and mind can learn the difference between pain and suffering. This is the only way responsibility arises and the core of the family can grow. You become part of something bigger in body and mind.
Initiation into Parenthood - Becoming a Family
In order to become good husbands and fathers, good wives and mothers, we must have the courage to the completeness of the soul (voluntary sacrifice). Then family life will take on a meditative and religious character. The common path until death and beyond death with the respective tasks of the expectant husband and father and the expectant wife and mother. The dance of marriage and family begins back to back. So that we can learn to trust and protect each other from our blind spots.
The difference between men and women is that the man perceives things and the woman perceives people. A man's mind is sacred and a woman's body is sacred. This way, we know what we need to support and protect each other.
Woman - Motherhood & Physical Love (Eros) - People
When giving birth, women naturally grapple with death and their own transience. The contractions of giving birth (pain) are necessary to be spiritually born into motherhood. The child and the mother are born at the same time!
For a woman, the initiation into parenthood begins with a birth that is as natural as possible.
The woman unites her own eros (physical love) with the philia (spiritual love) of the husband in order to experience divine love (agape). So the woman should make sure that she has a healthy body, not for herself, but for her children and her husband.
Man - Fatherhood & Mental Love (Philia) - Things
In order to become a family, men must actively initiate borderline experiences. Facing pain and death so you can grow up into fatherhood. The man combines his own Philia (spiritual love) with the Eros (physical love) of his wife in order to experience divine love (Agape). So the man should make sure to have a healthy mind, not for himself but for the family. For the woman physically gives birth to children (persons) and the man mentally gives birth to the family.
Manhood & Fatherhood - Mountain Week
The initiation into parenthood (fatherhood & manhood) for begins with a mountain week in the Honora Zen Monastery. It is the beginning of the role of father and husband, which must be learned step by step so that one has a clear and visionary mind for the family. During Mountain Week, seven days count as one! The intensive zen retreat takes place twice a year to commemorate the enlightenment of the saints and sages. During this week we will not lie down and devote all activities to meditation. A week without sleep.
The Victorious - The Three Jewels
My great refuge, are my crown jewels of great happiness. I pray from my heart never to be separated from these. Keep holding me with the iron hook of your compassion.
I lovingly keep the teachings of my kind parents. What good is verbal freedom if you don't untie the knot of avarice? What is the use of feigning discipline if one does not abandon deceit and falsehood? What is the use of patience practiced for the sake of reputation if one cannot endure the weapons of hurtful words? What's the use of superficially striving for positive action if you don't really get over your laziness?
The Three Poisons - Greed and Hate & Ignorance
What is the use of enduring difficulties in practice if one does not give up one's absent-mindedness? What is the use of meditating on openness, the wisdom aspect, if one does not experience appearances as helpful? What good is extensive knowledge if you don't understand the profound core point? What's the use of explaining the law of cause and effect to others if you don't act according to it yourself?
Until one has killed the venomous snake of disturbed emotions, it is false to claim that they are primal consciousness. Until the whirlwind of jealousy subsides, it is false to claim to be practicing the enlightenment mindset. As long as one has not overcome the ego illusion, it is wrong to claim that one understands the equality of things. As long as a master has not tamed the demon of egoism, he is ruled by the three poisons.