Fatherhood – Manhood Ritual – Responsibility – Zen Monastery

Fatherhood - The Phoenix must die first so it can rise again from the ashes!

The initiation into fatherhood: The phoenix must first die in order to be able to rise again from the ashes. This is how we grow into our new role as father or mother. The old must die so that one can take on the new responsibility, reborn. Wive and husband must each face their own death and impermanence so that the body and mind can learn the difference between pain and suffering. This is the only way responsibility arises and the core of the family can grow. You become part of something bigger in body and mind.

Initiation into Fatherhood - Becoming a Family

In order to become good husbands and fathers, good wives and mothers, we must have the courage to the completeness of the soul (voluntary sacrifice). Then family life will take on a meditative and religious character. The common path until death and beyond death with the respective tasks of the expectant husband and father and the expectant wife and mother. The dance of marriage and family begins back to back. So that we can learn to trust and protect each other from our blind spots.

The difference between men and women is that the man perceives things and the woman perceives people. A man's mind is sacred and a woman's body is sacred. This way, we know what we need to support and protect each other.

Father - Head of the Family

As the head of the family, the man has the duty to assume responsibility and defend his wife and family. Men have the responsibility to protect their wives and children from physical and, above all, spiritual dangers. Men often overlook this responsibility and, in doing so, endanger not only their own lives but also those of their wives and their families. Therefore, it is important that men learn to protect their wives and recognize dangers early on. Dangers lurk everywhere today (see "Deathly Mother and Feminism").

We cannot be good parents to our children or to our own heart matters until we confront the power of the mother in our culture to the corner.

Woman - Motherhood & Physical Love (Eros) - People

When giving birth, women naturally grapple with death and their own transience. The contractions of giving birth (pain) are necessary to be spiritually born into motherhood. The child and the mother are born at the same time!

For a woman, the initiation into parenthood begins with a birth that is as natural as possible.

The woman unites her own eros (physical love) with the philia (spiritual love) of the husband in order to experience divine love (agape). So the woman should make sure that she has a healthy body, not for herself, but for her children and her husband.

Man - Fatherhood & Mental Love (Philia) - Things

In order to become a family, men must actively initiate borderline experiences. Facing pain and death so you can grow up into fatherhood. The man combines his own Philia (spiritual love) with the Eros (physical love) of his wife in order to experience divine love (Agape). So the man should make sure to have a healthy mind, not for himself but for the family. For the woman physically gives birth to children (persons) and the man mentally gives birth to the family.

The Victorious - The Three Jewels

My great refuge, are my crown jewels of great happiness. I pray from my heart never to be separated from these. Keep holding me with the iron hook of your compassion.

I lovingly keep the teachings of my kind parents. What good is verbal freedom if you don't untie the knot of avarice? What is the use of feigning discipline if one does not abandon deceit and falsehood? What is the use of patience practiced for the sake of reputation if one cannot endure the weapons of hurtful words? What's the use of superficially striving for positive action if you don't really get over your laziness?

The Three Poisons - Greed and Hate & Ignorance

What is the use of enduring difficulties in practice if one does not give up one's absent-mindedness? What is the use of meditating on openness, the wisdom aspect, if one does not experience appearances as helpful? What good is extensive knowledge if you don't understand the profound core point? What's the use of explaining the law of cause and effect to others if you don't act according to it yourself?

Until one has killed the venomous snake of disturbed emotions, it is false to claim that they are primal consciousness. Until the whirlwind of jealousy subsides, it is false to claim to be practicing the enlightenment mindset. As long as one has not overcome the ego illusion, it is wrong to claim that one understands the equality of things. As long as a master has not tamed the demon of egoism, he is ruled by the three poisons.

The husband prays for his wife - Marriage

You, O God, have married my wife to me in a holy hour. The ring on my hand has been blessed by you and should always remind me of this blessing. With it, you have entwined an unbreakable bond around us, which I chose of my own free will and with the best of intentions. In doing so, you yourself have become the third in the alliance.

With the dangers of sin, the trials of my marriage have not been lacking. Dangers to love and fidelity, to the purity and sanctity of marriage, have not spared me either.

Today I pray for my wife, whom you have entrusted to me. I want to be her protector and helper. We are both human beings and feel our humanity. Therefore, as a man, I must all the more protect the weakness of women, must know consideration and chivalry, and offer support and security. Remove from us all misunderstanding and all malicious suspicion.

Give us understanding love and a compassionate heart every day, so that we may be able to bear our shared sacrifices and burdens without complaint and thereby become all the more dear and precious to one another.

We want to find and bind ourselves before you again and again, to offer holy prayers together and receive the sacraments, so that you may remain with us, as you always are where two meet in your name. In you and through you, may our bond remain holy and beautiful, so that we may both find ourselves with you again forever. Amen.

You are not a master, but a husband. You married not a maid, but a wife. God wanted to make you a leader over the weaker sex, not an all-powerful one. Respond with kindness! If you have a cold nature by nature, you should fulfill the duty of tempering it for marriage, and out of respect for it, you should put aside all harsh attitudes.

The Father Prays for His Children - Family

Father of all people! You have given us our children as the most beautiful blessing. To whom could we better dedicate them than to you! They are, after all, your children first and foremost. And only from you have I received the power of a father. I commend their body and soul to your mighty protection. You created them, redeemed them, and you are the sustainer of their lives.

Your Son himself became a child and was subject to his parents for most of his life, so that all children may become holy through him. Make their body your holy temple, in which you dwell with joy. Protect their hearts from sin and bad habits! Never let them be blinded by the follies of this world.

I will gladly raise them in goodness, as far as it is in my power. Give me the right measure of love and severity, of patience and good discipline, so that I may punish and reward, admonish and forgive at the right time. Give me the right word at the right time and the power of a good example in every situation. Thus, obedience will become a joy for them, and respect for their parents a matter of course.

Give my children a pure and tender conscience that protects them from temptation and calls them to do good! May a noble love for their fellow human beings awaken in them, a joy in bringing joy to others. In difficult times, give them trust in you and light in the hour of darkness. You love them more than we can love them.

And you are more faithful than we can be. One day we wish to find our children with you again in the eternal happiness for which we want to raise them. Amen.

The most successful and therefore the happiest are still, even today, those parents and educators who truly come to their children from God and with the splendor of a divine mission. The child does not know what is right, but we should know; that is why God has placed unreasonable children in the hands of reasonable parents.

The Father's Blessing - Family

Often, especially in the morning or evening, at farewell, and on other occasions, the father makes the sign of the cross on his children's foreheads with holy water and says:

I, Almighty God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, bless you. Amen.

The Father Consecrates His Family to God the Lord

Where a beautiful cross hangs in its place of honor, the father often gathers his family. He consecrates himself to God and to the Holy Family and renews it from time to time, alone or with his family.

Fatherhood – Manhood Ritual – Responsibility